No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
