just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Randomize