hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
And the cops told us we were all naked.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I came so hard my ears popped.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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