By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
