I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
how drunk are you?
Several
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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