Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
