i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
