If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
