so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
