someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
