U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
