Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
