Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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