we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
