Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
