saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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