He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
