So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
