can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Randomize
