Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
