He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
