We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
