apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
