The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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