You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i dont even know how to be here
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
