hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
she woke up with a sticky ear
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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