I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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