My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
