im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
