Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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