I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
This is my gift to your gina
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
