So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
