AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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