Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
