I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
