his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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