Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
