Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
