she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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