All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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