Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
