One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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