No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
He called his prostate his "boner button".
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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