I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Dicks are not precious.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
