there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
