laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Randomize
