So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
