very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
