So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
