I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I enjoy the company of your penis
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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