My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
