there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Found your dick twin last night
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
