I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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