So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
