Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize