It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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