I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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