im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize