Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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