with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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