3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
