On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
i think i just lost a toe
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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