i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
