marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
