He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
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