people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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